Plateforme de Hacking

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---------------------------- I Bleed for This? ------------------------------
------05.25.94-----------------------------------------------------#021------

                         Politically Correct Primer
                 Appreciated by Jason Farnon and Snarfblat


From: GEN4057@Husky1.StMarys.Ca (CAL AMYOTTE)
Subject: Politically Correct?

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                                 PC PRIMER
------------------------------------------------------------------------


Q:  WHAT IS P.C.?

PC stands for Politically Correct.  We of the Politically Correct
philosophy believe in increasing a tolerance for a DIVERSITY of cultures,
race, gender, ideology and alternate lifestyles.  Political Correctness
is the only social and morally acceptable outlook.  Anyone who disagrees
with this philosophy is bigoted, biased, sexist, and/or closed-minded.

Q:  WHY SHOULD I BE PC?

Being PC is fun.  PCism is not just an attitude, it is a way of life! PC
offers the satisfaction of knowing that you are undoing the social
evils of centuries of oppression.

Q:  I AM A WHITE MALE.  CAN I STILL BE PC?

Sure.  You just have to feel very guilty.

Q:  WHY?

If you are a white male, your ancestors were responsible for practically
every injustice in the world- slavery, war, genocide and plaid sportscoats.
That means that YOU are partially responsible for these atrocities.  Now
it is time to balance the scales of justice for the descendants of those
individuals whose ancestors your ancestors pushed down.

Q:  HOW?

It's simple.  You've got to be careful what you say, what you think, and
what you do.  You just don't want to offend anyone.

Q:  YOU MEAN I SHOULD GUARD AGAINST OFFENDING ANYONE?

That's right.  Being offensive is destructive, and will not make the world
a harmonious utopia, like in John Lennon's IMAGINE.

Q:  HOW ELSE CAN I BE PC?

Oh, there are lots of ways.  For example, why buy regular ice cream when you
can buy "Rain Forest Crunch?"  Segrega..whoops..separate all of your garbage
into different containers:  glass, metal, white paper, blue paper, plastic,
etc.  Make sure that all your make-up has not been tested on animals. Try to
find at least sixty ways to use your water; when you take a shower, brush your 
teeth at the same time.  Then don't let the water go down the drain, use it to
irrigate your lawn.  Or better yet, replace your lawn with a vegetable garden.
Don't use aerosol.  And by all means, don't burn or deface our flag. Remember,
as a citizen of Canada, your living in God's country.

If you are fortunate enough to know your ethnic heritage, dress the part!
Don't do drugs.  You should listen to at least one of the following PC
musicians:  U2, REM, Sinead O'Connor, Sting, or KD Lang.

Harrass people who wear fur coats.  Remind them that an innocent baby seal was
mercilessly clubbed.  Or just yell, "FUR."  They hate that.
And don't EVER eat meat.

Q:  DON'T EAT MEAT?  WHY NOT?!

Cows are animals, just like humans are animals.  That means that they have
rights.  When you eat meat, you're oppressing animals!

Q:  SO ALL KILLING IS BAD?

No, not always.  Sometimes killing can be justified, like in the Persian
Gulf.  You have to be able to tell when an animal has rights, and when
it doesn't.

Q:  HOW DO I KNOW WHEN AN ANIMAL HAS RIGHTS?

The general rule is as follows:

          IF AN ANIMAL IS RARE, PRETTY, BIG, CUTE, FURRY,
             HUGGABLE, OR LOVABLE, THEN IT HAS RIGHTS.

Examine the following chart:

      RIGHTS                       NO RIGHTS
     --------                     -----------
      cows                         cockroaches
      cute bunnies                 flies
      dolphins in tuna nets        tuna in tuna nets
      whales                       sharks
      red squirrels                gray squirrels
      owls                         loggers
      harbor seals                 barnacles

Q:  WOW.  WHAT ELSE CAN I DO TO BE PC?

Hug a tree.  Rejoice each day in our cultural differences, for they are what
gives flavour to our great country.  Get in touch with your sexual identity.
Check your refrigerator for freon leaks.  Subscribe to National Geographic.
Search it for neat non-Western cultural traditions and costumes.  After you
read it, use the paper as an alternate fuel source.

Q:  I'M NOT SURE ABOUT ALL OF THIS.

If you are feeling unsure about your motivation, just remember.  YOU ARE
RIGHT.  It's that simple.  You are right.

Q:  HOW DO I KNOW IF AN ACTION IS UN-PC?

Good question.  It's important to know when someone is saying something
insensitive so that you can have that person removed from society.  The
guideline is as follows:

     Is the confrontation between two white people?
        Yes ->  The liberal is right.
        No  ->  The white person is oppressing the ethnic person.

Remember, many seemingly obvious issues, such as the railroading
of Mayor Marion Barry, the Clarence Thomas issue, and the Saint Mary's
University Carribean Society shut-down are really race issues.

Here's a fun practice drill for you:  See how many newspaper articles you can
make into race bias stories.  It's fun!  Some PCers are so good they can make
the weather report look like a KKK pamphlet!

Q:  WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I SEE SOMEONE DO SOMETHING NON-PC?

It all depends on the situation.  If you are not in a position of authority,
by all means report this activity immediately to whomever is in charge. If
your school leader, employer, or superior is hip to the trend of the 90s,
she or he will take the necessary steps to have the insensitive offender
disciplined.

Q:  BUT ISN'T THAT CENSORSHIP?

The Constitution never meant for racism, sexism and insensitivity to be
espoused by anyone.  That's not what free speech is about.  Some call it
censorship.  PCers call it "selective" speech.  Saying something negative
about a particular race or gender is just as damaging as, say, punching
them in the face.  We just can't allow that kind of verbal assault.

Q:  I'VE HEARD A LOT ABOUT PC WORDS TO REPLACE "BLACK," "INDIAN." ETC.

Yes.  That's part of the PC movement.  You see, part of the way we think
about people comes directly from the words we use to describe them. Take
"black" for instance.  Why should a person be judged by the color of
their skin?

Q:  YOU MEAN THEY SHOULD RATHER BE JUDGED BY THE CONTENT OF THEIR
CHARACTER?

No, I mean they should be judged by where their ancestors are from.  If your
great grandparents are from Africa, or Asia, or wherever, then you should
be identified by that fact.  You can even apply for special scholarships!

Q:  I'M A MIXTURE OF FRENCH, GERMAN, ENGLISH, AND RUSSIAN.  CAN I GET
ONE?
No, there are none offered to white males however, if you are a women
...oops... womyn, there should be plenty.

Q  HEY, WOULDN'T A WHITE PERSON FROM LIBYA OR EGYPT TECHNICALLY BE AN
    AFRICAN-CANADIAN?

Technically, yes.  But that's not the kind of African-Canadian we mean.
That is, we're REALLY talking about skin color, but we're pretending that
we aren't.  Another example:  A white South-African immigrant is not
an African-Canadian or either.

Q:  HOW CAN I LEARN TO MAKE MY LANGUAGE MORE POLITICALLY CORRECT?

For more help, see the PC LEXICON at the end of the handbook.

Q:  I'D LIKE MY CHILD TO BE PC.  WHAT CAN I DO?

Well, for one thing, we should forcibly encourage students to volunteer
their time with philanthropies.  Also, we should re-emphasize non-Western
perspectives on history.  Finally, we should re-structure tests and quizzes
to reflect cultural biases.

Q:  I DON'T GET IT.

Well, the way the system works now, "select" under-represented minorities
who tend to do worse on entrance tests have lower standards of admissions
at school and work and receive preferential treatment.  This is unfair
and wrong.

Q:  IT IS?

Yes.  The truly PC way to do it is to have a different grading scale for
different groups which gives or subtracts points from the final score,
depending on who is taking the test.  If you are white, then you have been
benefited by society during your life.  That means that you lose
ten to fifteen points to make the test fair to everyone else.

Q:  I GUESS THAT SOUNDS RIGHT.

It IS right.  That's the beauty of PC.

Q:  WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO BE CAREFUL OF?

Humor.  PC people take every comment VERY seriously.  We will not accept
any comment, joke, remark, or anything that sounds like it could be a
racial slur.

Q:  GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE.

"What's black and white and red all over?" has been staple humor for
decades.  Not PC---it can be taken the wrong way.

In every day speech, try to use phrases like,
"Isn't that the pot calling the kettle African-Canadian."  Any racial
jokes or jokes even mentioning culture or gender should be omitted.  True,
this mostly limits comedy to the level of sitcoms, but that's the price you
pay for social equality.

Q:  IS THAT ALL THERE IS TO IT?

Yes.  The Politically Correct belief is essentially a recognition that
people are diversely equal.  We rejoice in this equality by treating
people differently based on their equal individuality.  Hop aboard the
bandwagon...  Be PC.  Or you're an intolerant, racist, sexist insensitive
pig.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                PC LEXICON
------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Insensitive Term"                         "Preferred Term"
------------------                         ----------------

-> ETHNICITY <-
(PC people do not recognize the term, "race," as valid)

Black                           -   African-Canadian
                                    (NOTE:  DOES NOT INCLUDE
                                    LIBYANS, EGYPTIONS, WHITE
                                    S-AFRICANS.
                                    DOES INCLUDE
                                    PEOPLE WITH DARK SKIN REGARDLESS OF
                                    WHERE THEY ARE FROM OR WHERE THEY LIVE.)

Oriental                        -   Asian-Canadian
                                    (NOTE:  NOT CONSIDERED "REAL" MINORITIES
                                    SINCE THEY TEND TO DO WELL)

Indian                          -   Native-Canadian
                                    (NOTE:  THE FOLLOWING TEAMS ARE NOT PC:
                                       Atlanta Braves
                                       Cleveland Indians
                                       Kansas City Chiefs
                                       Washington Redskins
                                     AVOID THESE CITIES!!!)

Chicano                         -   Hispanic
                                    (NOTE:  THE FOLLOWING ARE NOT PC:
                                       Cheech and Chong
                                       Chico and the Man episodes
                                       Cisco Kid
                                       Rosarita Salsa
                                       Speedy Gonzales
                                     AVOID!  AVOID!)

White Trash                     -   PC Unaware
                                    Rustically Inclined
WASP (white male)               -   Insensitive Cultural Oppressor (ICO)

->  GENDER  <-
(PC people don't like the word "sex" as it has confusing connotations)

Woman                           -   Womyn, Vaginal-Canadian

Girl                            -   Pre-Womyn

Housewife                       -   Domestic Engineer

Fireman                         -   Firefighter

Stewardess                      -   Flight Attendant

Meter Maid                      -   Parking Enforcement Aduciator

Post Man                        -   Post Person

Mail Man                        -   Person Person

Policeman                       -   Law Enforcement Officer
                                    Baton Boy
                                    Cal. Clubber

Prostitute                      -   Sex Surrogate
                                    (Teen Victim.  See:  Broken Home)

Mankind, Human                  -   Earth Children

-> PEOPLE : SUB-GROUPS <-

Handicapped                     -   Physically Challenged
                                    Differently Abled
                                    Handi-Capable

Blind                           -  Optically Darker
                                   Photonically Non-receptive

Deaf                            -  Visually Oriented

Poor                            -   Economically Unprepared

Bum                             -   Homeless Person
                                    Displaced Homeowner
                                    Philosophy Major

Hunter                          -   Animal Assassin
                                    Meat Mercenary
                                    Bambi Butcher

Whaler                          -   Blubber Lovers

Old Person / Elderly            -   4th-Dimentionally Extended
                                    Gerontologically Advanced

Conservative                    -   Right Wing Extremist Fascist Pig

Drug Addict                     -   Chemically Challenged

Bald                            -   Comb-Free

Bisexual                        -   Sexually Non-preferential

Midget, Dwarf                   -   Little People
                                    Vertically Challenged

Convict                         -   Socially Separated

Insane People                   -   Selectively Perceptive     
                                    Mental Explorers

(person with)                       (person with)
Learning Disability             -   Self-Paced Cognitive Ability

Tree-Hugger                     -   Environmental Activist

Logger                          -   Wood Weasel
                                    Paper Pirate
                                    Treeslayer

Dead People                     -   Dysfunctional Earth Children
                                    Biologically Challenged
				    Metaphysically Challenged	
->  MISCELLANEOUS  <-

Broken Home                     -   Dysfunctional Family

HouseBroken                     -   Family Disfunction

Cattle Ranch                    -   Cattle Concentration Camp (CCC)
                                    "Moo-shwitz"

Senile Bag o' Bones             -   Alzheimer's Victim

Ghetto/Barrio                   -   (EHA) Ethnically Homogenous Area
                                    Pre-Integrated Pre-Nirvana

Hamburger                       -   Seared Mutilated Animal Flesh (SMAF)

Cheeseburger                    -   Adding Insult to Injury

Cheating (in School)            -   Academic Dishonesty

Used Books                      -   Recycled Books

Trees                           -   Oxygen Exchange Units

Gang                            -   Youth Group

Pimp-mobile, Low-rider          -   Culturally Responsive Transportation
Option

Drunk/Trashed                   -   Spatially Perplexed

Slum                            -   (EOZ) Economic Oppression Zone

Delicatessen                    -   Corpse Farm
                                    Charnel House

Obese                           -  People of  Mass
                                   Gravitationally Challenged

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